Went to school today with a heavy heart. I told sheng da that I'm leaving the team. Told them I have no choice. But they think that it's just a normal conflict between me and my parents and that they'll try to find a way to bring me back somehow. But I doubt they'll succeed. They don't know my parents, my situation. I'm their last hope. Their last hope to comfort themselves that at least they can bring up a son properly and that they are decent parents. For that they'll do everything they can to make me stay on the track that they have planned. Anything that they think is hindering my progress must be blocked from me. I'm like water in their hands. After all this, I just hope that they'll bother me less from now on.
Went back home later and forced myself to study although I totally have no mood. The whole day was a torture.
I'm sorry that I quit on you guys. Please forgive me. It pains me to leave you guys too. But I promise, if I can't join rugby I won't join any other CCA. That's the least I can do.
Right now, I really can't appreciate my life. I feel like going off to somewhere far away, away from feeling this suffering. I know, I'll go ECP tommorw. Pray that it won't rain though. Gonna cry myself to sleep again. Night.
14/6/09
my second voice
- 12:28 AM