The sentosa outing was great. More than half the class went. We soaked in the sun and swam in the sea. We played ball and just chilled basically. Tab came later in the evening cuz her mom wanted her to study earlier on in the day. It was damn funny when she went inside the water and her shorts bubbled up. It seemed like she had a HUGE ass. I teased her about how she is really getting fat with that huge bum. I will never let that bimbo auntie hui xian to buy stuff. She just chucked chips inside the shopping basket and I ended up wasting money. I had to bring home a few packets cuz no one could finish. After that we went to Thai express for dinner. Actually no one wanted to go there but Jian lin kept sao jiao-ing. The food there was total rip off please. I had to pay $10 for one small plate of beef kuay teow, where I could get it at a kopitiam at less than half price. Oh, tab wore new funky earrings too. It was a long a shiny one, the funkiest one I've seen her wear so far. I kept pestering to shake her head to see the 'dangliness' of it. It was fun watching her say no with her head shaking, without her realising she's actually shaking her head. Then we went home riding the mrt, with a bit of camwhoring along the way. Had one of tab's classic constipated face captured on the phone. Finally, I'm no longer an epic fail organizer.
After a few days, my whole body had the skin peeling off. It was quite a new experience. I've never experienced so much peeling beofore. On the bright side, my body now has a nicer tan. It used to be that my upper body had different colour tones but now it's more even.
Chatted with tab throughout the whole holiday and sometimes a bit with hx. It's really fun and interesting to chat with tab, though she often complains about how bad her mom and her siblings are but I don't mind, I can relate to it sometimes and besides I owe it to her for letting me confide in her about kf. We talked about things like period and menopause to having a family and stuffs. We'd just debate about different perspectives and tease each other along the way.
I've been studying quite a bit during this holiday, especially for chem. I hope it'll reflect on my results for this common test. A few days ago I dreamed about kf. It was sort of a bad dream. I don't really think of her nowadays and yet she still pops up in my dream. I don't know how to take it. Is it suppose to be a sign or an omen of some sort? Hai...I'm pathetic.
25/6
Finally chem is over! I hope I don't screw it up badly. I think the paper is manageable but I don't dare hope for anything for now. Talked with Robert a couple of days ago. He had a past experience too. He cheated on his gf and now he's regretting. It's been already more than two months after he broke up with her and now he wants to patch things up again, but he just doesn't know how to start. I told him what I feel about it. Is that you should just go for it and just give it a try because u have nothing to lose and if you really want it. Things would have already calmed down by now too. Then he told me things like what they did when they're together and how he cheated kisses from her. It struck me that I was a total failure. There were many things that I could've done to not let kf feel that I was a lousy bf. Robert told me that he got like 3000+ msgs over the course of 3 months relationship with her. That's like an average of 1000 msgs a month, which means at least 250 msgs a week. I think during the one week when we were together, I msged her like less than 20 times. Then again I now know that it wouldn't have work out in the end so doesn't really matter.
29/6
Common test is over! Physics was actually easy, just that I didn't study for it. After the test some of us went to play pool; me, tab, Jaystine, yl, kf, Zhen yuan, guan ting. Jaystine is really good but not surprising since she got that ah lian look. After pool, we hanged around in the shopping center cuz it was pouring outside. We went to this pet shop and looked at all the furry animals. They've got rabbits, guinea pigs, hamsters. They're all so cute. I'll get one when I'm living alone. Then the rain didn't stop so tab's mother decided to pick her up and at the same time send us to mrt. Now I know where tab got her genes from. She really takes after her mom. They were both shooting at each other in the car. Didn't really noticed it until Zhen yuan brought it up. On the way home, we parted ways at je mrt and I ended up with kf. It was a really awkward situation. Both of us didn't talk at all. On my part, I didn't even try to talk to her. I chose not to. Looks like both of us are just used to the silence and distance between us. When the train reached the station I just said bye to her and got off. I feel like there is really nothing for us to talk anymore.
2/7
Went to school to play touch on Saturday. There were only seniors, all the j2s didn't come down so I was a bit left out. And plus the pouring rain didn't help at all. I ended up playing for like an hour becuase I had to rush down to meet hx. That auntie super fail, ended up yl and Nwe Nwe coming late. Plus she got really angry for me not knowing my place around. Must have been pms. Seriously that incident gave me the creeps again. It's like her character totally changed. Not the usual soft spoken, blur hx and I'm really scared of such people. It's very hard to predict and react to it. Anyway, we stayed at kbox till like 6+ and sang throughout. I didn't really sing much, it was usually hx holding one of the mics and the rest of us took turns when it's the song that we like. They kept making fun of the way I sang. Said like it's very low and monotone. Can't help it, anyway I did tell them from the start that my singing was good. That outing burnt a hole in my wallet. Plus I bought a new ear piece. It's good warranty so I can rest my mind for the next 2 years. Then we ended up eating carl's jr.
5/7
Got back some of the common test marks today. Did badly for my gp, but it's same for everyone else. Even tab failed, the supposedly most profecient one in english in the class. Then got C for Econ and E for math. I could accept the marks for Econ since I didn't finish on time and rushed the 2nd essay. But for math I thought I would do better. Must have been a lot of careless mistakes. But poor Nwe Nwe, her spirit really went down. She barely just passed. She said she studied for it. And somemore people whom she thought won't do well actually did a lot better than her, like Eugene, kf and jl. But she's most particular about jl. She said he affected her badly. She wanted to tell me about it at first then decided not to. Actually I'm quite surprised too. When everyone asked jl whether he has started revising for common test, he kept saying no and things like no mood. I even tried to talk sense into him thinking that he hasn't gotten over kf. Looks like he had everyone fooled, including me. He did well for math. Got B for it and think same for econs too. This is really worrying. I'm starting to think jl is a hypocrite, the type that make people let down their guards and then step over them. He succeeded this time round. Honestly, math is not something that u can smoke through and score, u have to have enough practice for it. Which obviously tells us that he actually had been studying for it, unlike what he had made us believe. It just make me feel like a stupid, worrying over him for nothing.
7/7
Been a long time since I wrote. Got a lot of school work, can't really find the time to reflect. Hmm...where to start. Well, I did badly for my CT. Failed chem, physics and gp. Stillmust work harder. When school reopened, there was this incident where jl randomly said that he miss tab. Then from there I kept teasing her about how maybe jl likes her. Then I asked her how she'll rate him as, and it was somewhere between an ikan bilis and a trout. So I suggest eel and it sort of become a code name. Anyway it went on for like a week, where I kept teasing her about it, trying to create scenarios and getting her paranoid. And she'd always make that face. I had my doubts about the whole thing because it seemed quite far fetched for the jl to like her and tab was hell bent on rejecting him straight. But I didn't probe around since I don't want to kay poh and it was fun teasing tab. Then that week when we got back our math results Nwe Nwe was quite upset. She wanted to tell me sth but later decided not to. She just mentioned that jl did sth that affected her that's why her math result was bad. Then at the end of the week when I asked her, she told me that jl confessed to her. But somehow it seemed that jl got the wrong idea from her reply and she felt bad and was afffected by it. Then coincidently, tab told me the next day that she know eel doesn't like her. Then she blew her top thinking I'm some sadist trying to use her for my own amusement by letting it go on when I knew that jl doesn't like her. But in actual case I, myself, only confirmed about it the day the before from Nwe Nwe. Luckily, she managed to calm her self down. That stupid girl, made me feel so gulity about it. Haha, but I didn't know I had such a brainwashing effect on her :) Anyway, I coined a new name for the constipated face that tab likes to make- poopy face. Cute name and somehow got link. We argued about the name and serene unintentionally said it's the face that you wouldn't make but in your mind instead, and needless to say it made me the winner of the argument. So the name stands and I've been calling her by that oftenly and she'll always make that little face of hers.
Ms Kim came to jj the other day. She was trying to promote her muffins. She just set up a bakery shop recently and now she's trying to get some customers. I bought her muffins and tried them. Not bad, I especially like the orange white choc flavour. The taste is mild but the smell and taste had a lingering effect. Well, tab has been practicing really hard for some big musical contest or sth. It must be a really huge event since tab told me that u have to go for an audition for the audition, personally I think it's just absurd. But it seems really important to her. Whenever there's a break, she'll just try to go practice in one of the lts. Sometimes she even skip eating just to squeeze in some practice time. It'll be a shame if she didn't get selected.
24/7
Tab told me there was a bit of cock up in the submission of her piano video. She didn't have the perfect performance that she wanted to have. She was also discouraged after she saw the past year submissions where some of the contestants were young kids. She felt like she didn't stand a chance. I tried to console and cheer her up but I think it didn't really work. If I were in her shoe, I'll feel very sucky too, realizing that even after so much hardwork has been put in, there are still a lot more people who are much better and talented than me, no amount of consoling will work. It's always a struggle, be it to become a muscian or athlete. Well there's nothing I can do for her anyway : /
Been thinking about it now, ever since after I've talked with dad. I thought of a rough plan on what I want to do for my future, at least like 10 years down the road. I'll get my ass into uni, hopefully to mechanical engineering course. After that get a job and save up for like 10 years then set up my own company. The best way to be rich and live comfortable are you reture is to be your own boss. You'll never get anywhere if you're just a salaryman. Besides if I need advice on how to be a businessman, I've got my dad who's good at that. He can give me a lot of advices.
25/7