Tonight went to prom. Bought my stuffs from John little. The whole outfit cost 150 bucks. But hey, I bought office wear so it's still useful I guess. Well quite a few of us came late, then again the event only started at around 7.30. Don't really blame the girls, they probably had to doll up. But I must say what hui xian wore was too revealing. Maybe she's going clubbing after prom, I don't know. And of course my prediction was correct, a lot of girls overdid their make up. I don't know, maybe it's just me, but I just think the whole thing was like a...farcade...I mean everyone was dressed up, putting a hell lot of effort into it. But at the end of the day behind those make up, those posh clothings and sexy dresse, is just another schoolmate. I just get put off by this whole thing. Anyway tab was sick, she was suddenly down with fever just yesterday. She wore another nice dangly earrings, as usual. But I didn't flick it cuz I don't want to disturb a sick girl. She went home half way. Man the 65 bucks was totally not worth it. The food was average. And they only had two drinks. And the food sometimes arrive cold. And the beauty peagent was...well not just my cup of tea. And the MC sounded tiring awhile with his lame jokes.
Hmmm...to me it's a bitter sweet feeling now. On one hand you won't be seeing your classmates, friends, some of whom you'll miss much and some of whom...well not so much. Then on the other hand there's this new future ahead of us where we can't wait to move into. I just wish everyone all the best for thier future. This two years have been real tough for me. But there are so many memories, there are both good and bad. Probably all of them will stay in my mind.
I went home with yl and kf after that. We took mrt, lucky we managed to catch the last train. Then that yl made me send kf home. He just alighted at je mrt and just left both of us. Kf said no need for me to send her home but the situation was obvious. It's already passed midnight and I'm the only guy left. So it wasn't a matter of choice. I don't like it all, we just kept silent through out. And I just hate that awkward atmosphere. Anyway after I sent her to her block lift, I at first thought of taking a cab home. But decided to walk back home. Just to clear my thoughts and reflect. So now here I am writing at a bus stop.
Well there's this unsettling news that I wanted to tell tab but decided not to. My dad is now floating the idea of sending me to Australia for further studies, it's not definite but has a high chance of it. He said there are better job opportunities there and easier to settle down and not so fast paced and crowded like Singapore. Plus my brother is already there so it's easier to send me over. As always, thinking for his sons futures. I mean it makes sense according to his ideas. But I don't feel good about it. It's already hard trying to provide for my brother who's already there. And he's the one who kept complaining about it. Now he wants to send me over too. It'll just add even more burden to him and I feel guilty about it too. But the worst thing for me is changing to a new environment. I can't imagine going through the whole thing as I did when I came over to Singapore to study. And losing my close friends here. That's the hardest part. I'm not a very socialble person and it takes a while for me to warm up to someone. Hai...I don't know how to break it to my friends. I don't know how they'll react to it when I tell them that they might never see me again. Seriously I'll miss everyone and probably will have another breakdown. Hmmm...just thinking of it is already hard. Maybe that's just my fate, to be a drifter, going from one place to another, just passing by, never staying long. But I think I should at least tab about it. Of all people I guess it'll be wrong of me not to tell her and just disappear. If it happens, I guess she'll have to find another guy to complain about monthly cramps, quarrels with her sibilings and parents. Find another guy who's shy and introvert to shoot at and make him feel embarrassed. Find another guy who admires her nice dangly earrings and itching to flick them. I guess I'll break it to her one of these days. Ok time for me to start walking back home again.
6/12
my second voice
- 3:00 PM